Elder Sister : Babysitter By Destiny

Laxmi, 10 years old girl is not present at her home on Monday afternoon. It is obvious that girl of this age might be in school or playing with her friends or have gone for some hobby classes, but destiny had some other plans for her. She is not at home because she went to fetch water from the nearby corporation tap, also she carries her 6 months brother in her lap as there is no one to take care of him at home. This is a daily routine for Laxmi living in one of the underprivileged area of Pune. 

Similar is the state of Madhu, 12 years old girl from one of the Noida's marginalized community. On the same Monday afternoon, she is cooking food for her two siblings as mother is in the field collecting waste. 

In our country, girls have always been bearing responsibilities of being a mother, wife, girlfriend etc., and these roles/responsibilities are widely discussed, sometimes praised and most of the times accepted as a fact. 

But there is one role silently played by young girls which is never discussed. Reason for ignoring this role is that it mainly prevails in underprivileged sections of society, which is considered only as a support staff to cater to the requirements of the privileged class. Mostly found in the economically marginalized families, this responsibility is of being a "babysitter" to their younger siblings when their parents are out to make a living. Elder sisters play this role also in developed sections of the society but extent of sacrifice is huge in underprivileged sections of the society. 

During my community survey, as a volunteer of SNEH Foundation(www.snehfoundationindia.org) I met lot of young girls of age mainly 9-13 years who sacrifice their school to take care of their siblings, as both mother and father are out on their job. The jobs taken by parents mainly include being daily wage earners, domestic help, construction workers, working in brick kiln, waste picking etc. 

These girls become responsible ladies at a very early age, raise kids(siblings), cook, wash utensils and clothes, fetch water and take full care of the home in absence of their parents. But all this comes with a cost, the cost of sacrificing their education, freedom and empowerment. These default babysitters does not go to school as they need to take care of their siblings at home till their parents are back. They almost accept their fate and adapt to it as there is no light to escape. Like a slow poison, this responsibility make them forget their pleasant childhood, a secure future and the most important aspect "education". Consequently, they become hugely reluctant to go to school and it becomes very difficult to convince them after a certain period of time. During one of my community-visit at a marginalized community in PCMC, Pune I came across more than 10 girls in this situation and it was difficult for us to convince them and their parents to start their education. 

We always talk of gender equality, ensuring equal rights for our girls/ladies but in this case it is always the girl who become babysitter. Never seen a boy taking care of siblings at home, although there are cases when elder brothers are earning to help their family. 

When I asked Madhu's father why she is not going to school, his answer was "bhaiya agar yeh school chali gayi to munne ka khayal kaun rakhega" (if she goes to school then who will take care of younger kid). 

These girls not only lose their education but are also prone to malnutrition and become easy targets of mental and sexual abuse. It has been found that minor rapes mainly occurs when the girl is alone in the house and most of the times the accused are the neighbor who was aware of the situation. Also this is one of the most important reason of school dropouts. 

Now the question arises, what are the causes that lead to this condition and what we, as an individual or organization, can do to mitigate these causes:

• Poverty: This is probably the most important reason which creates these babysitters.  Poverty make it difficult to fulfill basic needs of living, hence both mother and father plan to work and consequently elder sisters has to take care of younger siblings. 
• India has been fighting with economic disparity and rich have been becoming richer. 
• Please find below a very nice article on prevailing economic disparity in our country.
  
• 
  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/business/india-business/indias-rising-incom  inequality-richest-1-own-58-of-total-wealth/articleshow/56586277.cms
  
  
• The following actions may help in mitigating this cause:
• creating more sustainable and moderate/high paying jobs. This will surely decrease this to an extent as father may be earning enough to sustain the family and even if mother is doing a job, they can take necessary measures to ensure that all kids get education. 
• enhancing/modifying labor laws, minimum wage rules to ensure each and everyone gets a reasonable salary to live a fruitful life. 
• spreading awareness on government schemes like MGNREGA (http://www.nrega.nic.in/netnrega/home.aspx). This is mainly for people living in non-urban areas. 
• spreading awareness on SHG (Self Help Groups) through which ladies can earn better and use their skills to perfection.
• increasing the reach of small scale industries to marginalized sections of the society. This will create more employment opportunities for people and as a result their standard of living will improve. 
• improving laws related to loans to start small enterprises. This may motivate people to take up small enterprises. This will not only improve the economic condition of the people but also of the country as a whole. 
  If we want our girls to study, get empowered and live a fruitful life then measures for elimination of poverty need to be looked upon.

• Lack of family planning: Lack of family planning among the marginalized communities lead to more mouths to eat and less people to work. In order to cater to the needs, both parents start working and sometimes even kids are required to work. As there are infants in the family, the elder sister is asked to look after these kids. In most of these cases, these babysitters are either "early school drop outs" or the girls who have never been to school.
• As per Census 2011, literacy rate for ladies in India is around 65% , it can be considered that few % of illiterate girls are taking care of their siblings at home because their father did not want to use condoms, or mother was too skeptical to go for the vasectomy operation, or the aaganwadi workers (AWCs) did not spread the required awareness in the community on family planning.
  
  Another factor that motivates people to have more kids is the never lasting wish to have a heir to their "throne". Everyone wants a boy so that he can take the family name forward. Not sure if the parents will come to know in heaven if their son is taking the name forward or not. I came across more than dozen families living in urban slum of Gurgaon, with more than 5-6 children and the last being the boy and all others being the girls.
  
  Family planning is one of the most important aspect of community awareness taken care by various government and non-government units but still our country has a long way to go. Check out the last census report.
 

http://indiafacts.in/india-census-2011/literacy-rate-india-2011/

In order to mitigate this,
• government hospitals should reach to more people through their community awareness programs and motivate them for Vasectomy operations. 
• aaganwadi sevikas, having an amazing reach in community, should spread awareness on contraceptives and birth control options. NGOs working in marginalized areas should consider family planning awareness as one of the scope of work. 
• government should try installing condom vending machines in hotels, movie theaters, railway stations etc. 
• government can reward families with only girl child and done with fertility operations.
• awareness on the vicious circle of poverty which is linked to family planning.
  
  
• Lack of evening schools: This factor is more of like a trade off to ensure that girls get education even if they need to take care of their siblings during day time. If there are good evening schools around, they will be able to manage both as they can attend schools once parents are back in evening. SNEH Foundation under the project "Operation Gyaan" aims to mitigate this to some extent by having evening education centers for girls. But government should plan to have more evening schools for girls specially in marginalized communities.

• Stereotype mindset on girls: We are living in 21st century but still few sections of the society have stereotype mindset for girls. They still think that they should stick to home after they attain puberty and their only focus should be to look after household activities. Such mindset makes them default babysitters to their siblings. If the family has resources to teach only one kid out of two, then it will be always the son as he will need to earn in future whereas girl will marry after few years. Similarly, they think it is better that girls in their puberty be the babysitter or take care of the home rather than going to school.
  
  Such mindset can be changed using following actions:
• spreading awareness on facilities related to girl's education. Promoting it using different channels such as electronic media, print media, social networking etc. There are already number of schemes, just need to increase the reach of these schemes. 
• spreading awareness about gender equality
• aaganwadi workers reaching out to each and every family and motivating them to break these stereotypes and counsel accordingly. 


If all above factors are worked upon, then the tag of being a "babysitter by destiny" will be non-existent and all the girls of our country will get what they deserve. 


In case you find any such girl who is being forced upon to babysit her siblings and you think that parents counselling may change their mind, please do write to me at iliveforthenation@gmail.com.


So let's come forward and do our bit to change this situation. 


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Regards
Live For The Nation